Friday, 1 April 2016

Titanicing - Because everyone has Everested by now.

So you rode up a hill for 8,848m of elevation gain, it was the hardest thing you've ever done since giving birth to twins, and you're a dude. Then the bar went to 10,000m, the equivalent to birthing twins and a Lego set for them to play with. Then along came double Everesting, a challenge for those with a true disconnect between reality, pain, and elevation gain.

Now what next? You've ticked all the boxes going up right? Well. How about going DOWN? (not that type of going down, the other one, on your bike!).

Introducing TITANICING - The Search for Sinking!

Titanicing, like the real thing, is where you let the berg do all the work and you're just in for the ride. Too easy right? No so fast. There are rules.

  • You must descend a total of 3,800m (12,000 feet), the depth of the Titanic.
  • Rides can be of any length, and on any hill or mountain, or elevator on an ergo (vTitanicing)
  • You may decide to push on past 3,800m to get to 4,000m, in which case your ride will also qualify for inclusion in the Deep Sh*t Society.
  • The descents must be completed on a bicycle. Attempts using submarines won't be allowed.
  • Ascents back to your starting point elevation can be completed any way you like. Yes, even in a car for the truly committed lazy bastard in us all. Remember, Titanicing is about the DOWN, not the up.
  • If you're using a music player during the attempt, Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On must be played on repeat until you're memorised the entire song. If you're not using a personal music player, the song must be on blast somewhere along your route to warn/inform others of your activity in progress.

How do I record descents?

Mount your Garmin upside down. Easy!

What's the website for more information?

We were thinking of registering, but being true to our philosophy, it'd always be down. There is no website. Which means no records, which means no worries!

What's the hashtag?

We threw around a number of ideas that were quickly dismissed by the PR department as very inappropriate for our branding. So we're going with #down. There's only 2.1 million 'grams with that tag, we're sure it'll be easy to find.

Are you f*#ing serious about this?

No. Happy April Fools Day. And my utmost respect goes to everyone who's achieved their goal of Everesting (and vEveresting!)


Unknown said...

I'm concerned that the mounting instructions for the Garmin will encourage water to enter the unit.

Unknown said...

So just like the titanic then...